Attitude and Longitude

I'm Getting What I Want... And It's Incredibly Easy

Since the first week of 2012, I’ve been using a 13x4 system that I customized for myself, and I’ve been having remarkable results.  I'm more productive - I'm getting what I want... and it's been incredibly easy.  In case you don’t know what the 13x4 system is, it’s a personal effectiveness process that was first conceived by Benjamin Franklin.  

The 13x4 Is Born
It was 1728 when Franklin undertook his "bold and arduous project of arriving at moral perfection." Franklin chose 13 virtues to focus on, hoping to improve his personal effectiveness and character.  It worked because he focused on only one thing at a time.  He wrote: "I judged it would be well not to distract my attention by attempting the whole at once, but to fix it on one of them at a time; and when I should be master of that, then proceed to another; and so on till I should have gone through the thirteen."

Tom Cassidy, my colleague from England, first told me about this concept last year.  Apparently, about a decade ago, he’d seen the Franklin 13 mentioned in Frank Bettger’s classic business book, How I Raised Myself from Failure to Success in Selling.  Tom was intrigued.  He read Franklin’s autobiography and began to apply the 13x4 to his work as a teacher and later as a businessman.  He’s used it successfully with a wide variety of people, including sales teams, 5^th graders, educators and company executives.  And, of course, he has his own personal 13x4 system too. 

When Tom presented me with the opportunity to help him develop the 13x4 into a user-friendly program for everyone, I didn’t hesitate.  We’ve developed e-courses and are co-facilitating a workshop on April 21 to provide hands-on help to people in designing their own custom 13x4.  It’s time to let the world know about this “secret” for success!

How The 13x4 Works
Basically, the 13x4 is a year-long system with 13 focus areas that you concentrate on for one week at a time.  You determine what you’d like to focus on to raise your effectiveness.  Then you cycle through them 4 times... 13x4=52 weeks. 

Since Tom has a physics background and loves to know how and why things work, he was determined to know why Franklin's idea is so effective.  He says it's because of something from rocket science called "The Principle of Least Action."  There’s also some quantum mechanics involved.  While I admit that I barely understand the physics behind it, I can certainly grasp the brain science behind it, especially the part about how the RAS (Reticular Activating System) is engaged in this process. 

We Want To Choose Easy
Tom and I both like choosing easy whenever possible, so we’ve simplified Franklin’s idea even further.  For example, in this modernized 13x4 approach, there’s a slight modification is in the physical model.  Franklin used a chart, we use a wheel to denote the concept of a cycle. 

We also have the advantage of using fantastic technology tools to increase its effectiveness – tools that Franklin didn’t have but would probably be inventing if he were with us today!  With today’s tools, the 13x4 is practically automatic.  It takes even less pressure and minimum willpower to achieve results than when Franklin was doing it. 

The FAST™ Method
I’m almost finished my first 13x4 cycle of 2012.  It’s been pretty amazing how much more productive I’ve become by using this system.  And I’ve been seeing several specific changes in my life and in my personal effectiveness due to the focus areas I’ve chosen.  Over the coming days and weeks, I’m going to share my observations here.

I’m going to capture this using a tool that Tom created called the FAST™ Method.  He suggests that you use it to help crystallize your focus areas and identify the tool you’ll use to adhere to each.  It stands for:

Your choice of

  F-ocus

that betrays your

  A-ttitude

illustrated by your chosen

  S-tory

handled moment to moment by the appropriate

  T-ool

And, in fact, it is a great tool for preparing your 13x4.  However, what I’m going to do with it is a bit different than the way Tom intended.  I’m going to use this tool to analyze how my 13x4 is making a difference for me.

So next time, I’ll use it to format my analysis and report the results for my first week’s focus, which is Planning.  Stay tuned!

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they bring who they are to what they do in life. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Book Recommendation: The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz

The Mastery of Love is a “practical guide to the art of relationship.”  In all of his books and teachings, Ruiz passes along the wisdom of his Toltec ancestors, who he describes as “men and women of knowledge” from southern Mexico who formed a society of artists and scientists thousands of years ago. He says that they came together to “explore and conserve the spiritual knowledge and practices of the ancient ones.”

As you read The Mastery of Love, it’s apparent that the information isn’t at all that new, and, in fact, you’ll find much in common with the fundamental truths at the core of many traditions, philosophies and religions of the world.

His description of love – how he lays it out in chapter called “The Track of Love, The Track of Fear” – is reminiscent of 1 Corinthians 13 from The New Testament.  Love is this, love is that…

My favorite part is when he gives a simple example of what makes the perfect relationship with a loved one.  He uses the analogy of having a relationship with a pet.  He says that this is a perfect relationship because you not going to change the animal.  “A dog is a dog.  It doesn’t matter what you do, it’s going to be a dog.  You are not going to change a dog for a cat or a dog for a horse; it is what it is.”

He goes on to explain that trying to change a person to fit what you want them to be is to like trying to change a dog for a horse.  If they are what you want, you will love them for who they are and vice versa. 

Following this profound piece of advice alone could save you a lot of money in therapy bills. And think of all the marriages that could succeed if folks realized this and decided to practice it?  

Ruiz explores all the myriad facets of love in this book and gets you moving along the path of mastery.

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they bring who they are to what they do in life. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Spring Teleseminar Event on March 27, 2012: "Zero-Pressure Goal Achieving"

Oxford Physicist & Effectiveness Expert Tom Cassidy offered to do a teleseminar with me this Spring. So, of course, I said yes!

If you had a chance to listen in on the last virtual class we did together in December, you already know Tom is passionate about the information he teaches. He's a big thinker who has inspired me to stretch my thinking even more than I was before. If you haven't had the chance to listen to that program go find it on the Resources page at http://13x4.com and hit play. But be warned. You will very likely be inspired too...

Based on what I observed during his speaking tour through Austin during the holidays, Tom just has that effect on people!

We've chosen "Zero-Pressure Goal Achieving" for the topic of this teleseminar, which is interesting since Tom doesn’t exactly believe in doing what we traditionally call “setting goals.” Well, that is, he doesn’t believe in going about it the way people typically go about it. Instead, he believes in zero pressure and minimum willpower because he knows this is more effective... and he knows WHY it’s more effective (yes, there's a scientific principle behind why).

I'll consider anything that helps me simply my life and do things easier... and with less pressure. What about you? Join us at 7pm Central on March 27 by signing up at: http://13x4.com/zero-pressure-goal-setting-teleseminar

If you can't join us live, go ahead and sign up anyway so you can get access to the recording later. Oh, and by the way, it's free & open to anyone to attend. :)

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they bring who they are to what they do in life. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Will Smith's Attitude and Philosophy on Life

Check out this brilliant montage (kudos to the video maker!) showing the insightful philosophy of American celebrity Will Smith. Considering his success in life and his incredibly positive attitude, I'd say he's on to something!

I especially love his advice on making the choice about who you're going to be. Enjoy! (9:57)

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they bring who they are to what they do in life. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Wisdom On How To Handle What Looks Like Failure

Recently, as I was pondering and writing about choosing easy whenever the path to a goal gets blocked, I found all sorts of inspirational wisdom on how to handle what looks like failure. 

Here’s a short collection from some famous thinkers:

Winston Churchill:  "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."

Confucius:  “When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.”

James Joyce:  "Mistakes are the portals of discovery."

Harriet Beecher Stowe:  "Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."

Thomas Edison: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Henry Ford:  "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they bring who they are to what they do in life. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Goals: “Prepare To Take Detours In Stride”

Do an Internet search on successfully achieving goals, and you’ll come across plenty of wise insights about dealing with obstacles to achieving goals too. That’s because all the great goal achievers in history also had to deal with obstacles or mistakes they made along the way.

James Joyce said, "Mistakes are the portals of discovery."

And he’s right.

Obstacles, mistakes and failures are shifting points for course changes along the journey. Sometimes you have to downshift and look for a new path to reach your goal. How you view or handle the obstacles to your goals has a significant bearing on how easily or quickly you reach your goal.

Still, I have to remind myself of these things on occasion, like when I was especially revved up about a particular goal recently. I kept hitting speed bumps, and my frustration levels kept revving up too.

The goal was conceived in January when my colleague, Tom Cassidy, was visiting Austin (my hometown) from England. We enthusiastically agreed to plan and deliver a series of public workshops together in Austin this coming April. Tom, who is an inspiring big thinker, said, “Let’s pick a venue that can fit 200 people for one of the events.” Swept up in his vision for a large program, I drafted a budget and started to list the likely locations that could host it.

The planning process was humming along pretty well, and then I hit a snag regarding venues. The typical places in Austin that could fit 200 participants kept replying with "that date is not available." Turns out April is peak wedding season… duh!

After spinning my wheels in disappointment after disappointment for a couple of days, I finally decided to reset the goal to allow for a smaller event. It suddenly became a whole lot easier. I found a beautiful classroom-style venue that seats 90 at the AT&T Executive and Education Conference Center on the downtown Austin campus of the University of Texas. And we were able to reserve it for our prime choice date, April 21. Not only is the room well-suited to the seminar that Tom and I will be teaching, the location is centrally located and easy to reach. Additionally, participants can enjoy their lunch break in one of two eateries in the building or go to a variety of restaurants within walking distance. Success! And everything continues to fall into place smoothly and easily.

In one of our email correspondences, Tom reminded me of the “choose easy” rule of goal achieving: “A message I learned a while back is that 'business is not meant to be a struggle - if it is, then you're doing something wrong.' Sure - it's meant to be hard work, but not a struggle - it CAN be fun at every step of the journey.”

That’s true… and, after all, “easy” and “minimum willpower” goal achieving is what we are teaching in our 13x4 programs together.

As I’ve reflected on all of this, I see that our idea to plan a large program was not a mistake after all. In fact, it’s a really good idea… for the long term that is. Plus the original large program idea led to some major breakthroughs in two areas that I hadn’t known about before I hit those obstacles: 1) I realized that I needed to hire a freelance event promoter to assist me for this and future projects and 2) I realized that it’s better for me, at this time, to build toward the success of the big goal by achieving this smaller, interim goal first.

These aha moments all hit me last week, and then, over the weekend, I came across the following. From The Magic of Thinking Big by Dr. David Schwartz, in the chapter entitled “Use Goals to Help You Grow”:

…prepare to take detours in stride. If you are driving down a road and you come to a “road closed” situation, you wouldn’t camp there, nor would you go back home. The road closed simply means you can’t go where you want to go on this road. You’d simply find another road to take you where you want to go.

Okay, I get the message loud and clear. From now on, I’ll prepare to take detours in stride... and I’ll remember to choose “easy” too.

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they bring who they are to what they do in life. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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The Most Adaptable Will Survive

Several years ago, I was having a conversation with my highly-educated sister, who has 3 science degrees, about evolution and survival of species.  Yes, our conversations are often that geeky.  What can I say?  She set me straight about the theory of “survival of the fittest” by proving that the key to survival is not necessarily that the fittest will survive... it's that the most ADAPTABLE will survive.  

She cited a classic example.  During the Industrial Revolution in England the white birch trees near factories often became gray from soot.  There was a species of moth that came in two color varieties, gray-speckled and white.  The white moths had the advantage of survival prior to the industrial revolution era because when they landed on the white birch trees, they were camouflaged to hide from bird predators.  When the trees became gray in color, the gray-speckled moths gained the advantage over the white ones.

The good news is that, unlike moths, we are able to consciously choose how we will adapt.  Yay!  And, in order to adapt, we must not see ourselves as victims of circumstances.  

It pays to choose proactively how we will respond to our circumstances.  Surviving – and thriving – requires that you adapt or you will wither away… and, I mean wither away physically, emotionally and/or spiritually.

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they bring who they are to what they do in life. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Book Recommendation: The Bridge Across Forever

A couple of months ago, someone asked me what kind of books like to read.  “All kinds” was my first response.  “Okay,” I thought,” that was a cop out.”  So I amended my answer, “I like all kinds, but I really enjoy autobiographies and biographies that share the person’s growth and their ‘aha’ moments.”  But I wasn’t off the hook yet because this person’s next question was, “What are some that you’ve read?” 

Ever since that conversation, I’ve been reflecting about the particular books I’ve read that influenced me, inspired me and were based on true life experiences.

The Bridge Across Forever was one such book.  Richard Bach has such a way with words and storytelling that he has been my favorite author ever since I read Jonathan Livingston Seagull as a child.  Even when telling his own story, he infuses his writing with a down-to-earth poetic brilliance that I love so much. 

This book is a lovestory.  Bach reveals his quest for and discovery of his soulmate.  I won’t give his story away by telling you about it, but I will leave you with an excerpt that shows his skillfully playful writing style.  You’ll enjoy this book, especially if you’re a romantic at heart.

I felt like a surfer resting on his board, all at once some monster energy wells up, grabs him without asking him if he’s ready and there’s spray flying from the nose of the board, from midships, then from way aft, he’s caught on this massive deep power, the wind pulling a smile around his mouth.

There are excitements indeed, having one’s book read by many people.  One can forget, charging mile-a-minute down the face of a giant wave, that if one isn’t terribly skillful, the next surprise is sometimes called a wipeout.

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they bring who they are to what they do in life. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Conditions of Love

In human relationships, we all have conditions that we place on the relationships we have with others. By this, I mean that we all have a way in which we measure the love being shown to us by another.  The measurement we use tells us whether we feel it’s genuine and if it’s enough. 

For example, I realize that a condition I use to measure whether I’m being loved is the answer to the question, “Do I feel like my vision plan is being honored and respected?”  

It is fair to expect something in return for what you give because relationships are not meant be lopsided.  No one side of the relationship is more deserving than the other.   

The plane that we live in is a dynamic place of complimentary opposites – positive/negative, male/female, light/dark – and does not allow complete and total unconditional love.  

When we are born into this plane of complimentary opposites, the unconditional becomes conditional.  We are able to grasp being unconditional even as we are being conditional about love.  Just as we are able to grasp the concept of being one, while we are being more than one.  

It’s like light, which is known to quantum physicists as particles and yet also as waves.  

Until we leave this plane, we love conditionally... And yet, we can certainly lessen the hold that our conditions have on us as we become more aware of unconditionality.

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they bring who they are to what they do in life. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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William Kamkwamba Harnesses the Wind And Builds A Future

TED:  At age 14, in poverty and famine, a Malawian boy built a windmill to power his family's home. Now at 22, William Kamkwamba, who speaks at TED, here, for the second time, shares in his own words the moving tale of invention that changed his life.

   

It's a simple message, but powerful and must be said over and over again until we all know this like we know that we need water to survive...

"Trust yourself and believe.  Whatever happens don't give up." - William Kamkwamba

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they bring who they are to what they do in life. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Buddy Guy Mentors Young Bluesman Quinn Sullivan

Let's have some Friday fun! And why not get a little inspired while we're at it too?

In case you don't know this about me already, let me tell you... I LOVE the blues. Buddy Guy is one of my all time favorite bluesmen, and check out who he's been mentoring. Quinn Sullivan was 10 years old in this feature story from NBC's Today Show (video and link below). This year he turned 12 years old, and, by the way, he's still touring with Buddy Guy. They're doing a show in a Las Vegas next month.

Turn on your speakers and enjoy this delightful story about a young person with big dreams and big talent who's making his mark on the world. (4:38 minutes.)

 

And if you liked that, you might want to just sit back and watch/listen to the gig where Buddy "discovered" Quinn at age 8.

Big smile now ~ tapping my foot ~ enjoying the jam ~ Happy Friday!

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they bring who they are to what they do in life. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Fitting In At All Costs... What is it really about?

Last night DeAnne Pearson taught us about how to find our core values.  It was a great teleclass, and even though I’ve been doing personal development work for more years than I care to reveal, I had a couple of new breakthroughs about myself. 

Note:  If you’re interested in hearing the program, you can still sign up at www.MindOpeningDialogues.com until February 3, and I’ll be happy to send you information on how to access the recording.

What I found especially compelling was DeAnne’s personal story about her quest to find her own authentic self.  I believe that many of us have bumped into the same sort of “you must conform” scenario while growing up.

In first grade, she had a teacher who would change her life’s course significantly, but possibly not in a way that you think.  

“Did I mention, I love to talk?...” DeAnne asked as she began telling us her story. “I remember spending a lot of time at the teacher’s desk, with some stern words and meetings between my mom and the teacher. So, I stopped talking. I didn’t answer the teacher’s questions, I didn’t even answer for attendance and was counted absent for days at a time in first grade.”

Her name is all one word, DEANNE.  Prior to first grade she had learned to write her name with a capital A in the middle.  But this was a big issue with her teacher who wanted her to change the spelling or have her parents separate it into two words. “No one does that,” the teacher said.  What DeAnne saw as unique was considered wrong by the teacher. 

Another challenge DeAnne faced that year was having trouble with recognizing the alphabet and with reading.  Turns out she had dyslexia. 

When another student asked why she never smiled. DeAnne recalled the teacher’s response, “I have no idea, I just don’t think she is going to make it.” 

So, DeAnne got the message:  It was not okay to do the things she loved, like talking; her uniqueness was not going to be honored; and she was “just not going to make it.”

And that’s when she began to do what she could to fit in at school.  

“By second grade I was getting citizenship awards, excelling in all subjects, graduating in the top 5 of my class with academic scholarships and awards all the way through graduate school where I studied education, and later counseling, all the time fitting into a very traditional and acceptable path of teacher, then school and college counselor. The whole time my stomach hurt and I knew there was something missing.”

Through her work, DeAnne has come to realize she isn’t the only one with a story of “doing whatever it takes to fit in.”  She says that a lot of her clients have been job seekers and people unhappy in their careers who have this common desire to fit in at all cost. 

One of DeAnne’s favorite questions to ask herself and her clients when moving through a life change, is “What it is really about?”

And her conclusion is that, in most cases, it’s about whether you are being authentic to your core values – whether you are being honest with yourself and fulfilling your unique destiny.

DeAnne’s bio contains a line that I think sums it up nicely:  “You are never more brilliant, more beautiful, or stronger, than when you are fulfilling your own unique destiny. It is the only way to live honestly and the only true gift you can give the world.”

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they bring who they are to what they do in life. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Special Event: Fun, Informative & Free Virtual Program With DeAnne Pearson

When Life/Career Coach, DeAnne Pearson suggested we do a teleclass together, I couldn't resist. She's a ball of fire and a whole lot of fun. Just what we need to get motivated to achieve our new years resolutions!

The teleclass is called "Resolutions Were Made To Be Broken." DeAnne is going to teach us why our resolutions might fail and how it's not about character, discipline or willpower. Her “Values to Vision” program is a full day workshop, but she’s agreed to give a mini course for free during this call.

Learning Outcomes:

• Easily create a personalized filter unique to you so you get what YOU want instead of everything else you don’t.
• Discover your Top 5 Values… these are the “things that make you hum!”
• Boost your energy and increase your focus levels exponentially.
• Learn how to do a “style” search without having to pay for a fancy assessment. (And it’s much more fun!)

Additionally, everyone who signs up will get a Values Compass Chart, and DeAnne will teach us how to use it during the call.

Note: if you can't make it live, sign up anyway so you can hear the recording later.

Live Free Program:
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
7:00pm-8:00pm

Sign up at www.MindOpeningDialogues.com

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they bring who they are to what they do in life. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Book Recommendation: Five Wishes by Gay Hendricks

I read this book, which is subtitled, "How Answering One Simple Question Can Make Your Dreams Come True," when it came out in 2007.  That year was a tremendous time of transformation for me personally.  I'd taken a major career step in going solo, and I'd resumed writing my book in earnest with the goal of publishing it - which I did the following year.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge fan of self-inquiry.  I've been doing Q&A with myself, analyzing why and what for, ever since I can remember, and especially with purpose since I was a teenager.  (My nature has always been rather socratic, I suppose!)  Hendricks' book grabbed my attention because of that resonance and then further influenced my own mission.

But that's not the only reason why I recommend the book.  This brief book is easy to read and digest.  It begins with a story - a very relatable scene - in which the author meets a stranger who, with his consent, asks him a big question that changes his life.

Throughout the rest of the book, Hendricks shows you how he has applied this question to 5 areas of  his life... hence his 5 wishes.  How can this one question help 5 wishes come true for him?  Well, you'll have to read the book to find out since I don't want to give anything away.  However, I will say that by the end, you'll have been introduced to a pretty simple and yet powerful way to turn wishes into goals.

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they can bring who they are to what they do. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Poem: I Am All Over Green

I Am All Over Green

We communicated in spring green.
In a spring green dress of silky shiny-ness,
I dance on a country road in a country scene.
And I am all over green.

This is the truth of Me.
I begin to crawl, then stand tall.
I think big; I think small.
I am not syncopated at all.

My truth flourishes deep within.
It is a flower under glass in a vacuum.
It emits a sound – a growing din.
It thrums with the hum of OM.
And though out of sight
with no oxygen to consume,
save that deeper breath of night,
It is enflamed in golden light

This is the truth of Me.
I begin to crawl, then stand tall.
I think big; I think small.
I am not syncopated at all.

The body that surrounds the truth of Me
comes to know its rigid-osity.
It is flaking, sloughing, peeling.
Layers thinning and revealing
a waking luminosity.

This is the truth of Me.
I say it again, the noise of it a friend,
Yet in the end I can’t pretend.
The true truth (the humming, thrumming, blazing sheen)
– it begins to transcend.
And I am all over green.

–Angela Loëb; ©12/23/09

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they can bring who they are to what they do. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Book Recommendation: Unbroken

The subtitle says it well:  "A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience and Redemption"

You’ve probably heard the adage, “true life is stranger than fiction.”  If someone tried to make up this amazing tale, no one would believe it.  Except this IS a true story about Olympic athlete and World War II Airman, Louie Zamperini.  

Survival and resilience doesn’t even come close to describing this epic account of the life and near-death experiences Mr. Zamperini endured, including being adrift on the Pacific Ocean on a raft surrounded by sharks for 47 days and being savagely abused as a prisoner of war in Japan. 

Hillenbrand, author of Seabiscuit, is a first-rate storyteller who spent 7 years researching and writing Unbroken.  She offers meticulous details and copious notes throughout and demonstrates a terrific ability to create pictures in your mind as you read.  The New York Times said that Hillenbrand “is a muscular, dynamic storyteller, never using an ordinary verb when a “teeming,” “buffeted” or “porpoising” will do. Her command of the action-adventure idiom is more than enough to hold interest.”

In short, I was swept into Zamperini’s story from page one… and it didn’t let me go until the end. 

It’s also deeply inspiring.  Someone I know was so moved by this book that it positively affected his outlook when he read it during some challenging times in his own life.  He said that until he read this story, he didn't have a true understanding of what it means to forgive. 

Yes, Unbroken is that powerful...

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they can bring who they are to what they do. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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Musical Artist, Justin Hines, Inspires Audiences All Over The World

Justin Hines is a talented singer/songrwriter with a rare joint disease called Larsen's Syndrome.  I'll let this CBS News video (about 7.5 minutes) tell his incredible and inspiring story.  Enjoy!

P.S.  There might be a short 30-second commercial before the story about Justin starts.

 

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they can bring who they are to what they do. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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To Get What You Want, Plan For What You Want - Schedule A Personal Planning Retreat

When I was in the middle of my corporate career, I was asked to turn in annual goals every January, and so I got into the habit of setting aside time on my birthday, which just happens to fall during the last week of the year (it was yesterday). I would take that day off as a personal vacation day and spend it reflecting on what I’d done the previous year and contemplating what I’d like to do during the next.

During my annual retreat, I would set goals, determine what books I wanted to read, what classes I wanted to take for personal and professional growth, etc. I looked at all areas of my life, not just the professional side. For example, when I decided to spruce up our home's master bathroom one year with new flooring and wall paint, it went on my plan.

Every year, I still do my birthday retreat. In fact, yesterday was my birthday, and I took the day off for my retreat!

I also do mini, half-day planning retreats quarterly. In fact, I recall one very powerful mini-retreat that I did in March 2008 that really catapulted me forward! That's when I set the intention that I would complete and publish the book that I'd been writing off and on over the previous 4 years. I pledged to have it out by September that same year. I wrote down all the action steps that I needed to take (along with any resources I needed for each step) to make this goal a reality. To stay disciplined, I put these steps on my calendar, picking realistic dates for each. Even though I was off the mark by a few weeks, I did, indeed, publish my book in October of 2008.

4 Tips For A Successful Personal Planning Retreat
1. Create uninterrupted space and time for yourself - put the date on your calendar and protect it like you would a vacation day. No kids, no managers, no employees, no significant others demanding your time. No electronics either... that is unless you are using a computer strictly for typing your plan. You must truly think of this as YOUR time.

2. It’s up to you how often you want to have your personal planning retreats. You can make this an annual event, perhaps on your birthday like I do. Of course, you might also find it useful to schedule your retreats more frequently. Like I mentioned, some people enjoy this process so much that they schedule bi-annual or quarterly personal retreats.

3. Ideally, give yourself a half day to a whole day away from the normal distractions. This is a time when you will do a lot of inner reflection, so I strongly advise you go to a different place where you can enjoy solitude if at all possible. Get out of the house or away from the office, turn off the phone and give yourself permission to think without distractions.

4. During your personal planning retreat, it's a good idea to start off by asking yourself questions to check in and see where you are. When you answer the question, you are making an affirmative statement, which is a powerful goal acheiving technique. For me this is almost like a journaling process. I'm pretty good at tuning in and asking my own personalized questions because I've done this sort of thing for more than a decade now. However, here are some general questions for you to consider asking yourself if you're not used to doing a process like this:
What is my intention?
OR, to be more specific...
What is my one big project to complete/problem to solve this year?

What do I need to reach success?
Break it down further...
- What knowledge/skills?
- What external support system?
- What physical needs/resources?

Set Timelines
It's one thing to state what you want to do and what you need to get there, but until you put some timelines on these items, it's all academic. I had a general intention to write a book for 4 years. It didn't actually happen until I wrote the dream on a piece of paper, broke down the action steps, and then put everything on the calendar. Let's face it, getting what you want requires a will to do it, but it also requires a plan with timelines!

I'm excited about what came of my retreat yesterday. The big commitments I made include building in more leisure time in 2012 (hey, that's a huge deal for me!). I added some new items to my bucket list. I'm also planning to publish my last book on job search in early 2012, and then I'll get started on the next one, which I've been dreaming about writing since 2009. It's about personal vision and purpose from a whole-life perspective. Look out 2012 - here I come!

What about you? What will you set your sights on accomplishing next year? It doesn't have to be big. You could keep it simple like my colleague Tom Cassidy teaches us in the 13x4 e-course... that is, just do on one thing at a time like practicing "gratitude" once or twice a day for a week and then switching to practicing "giving to others" once or twice a day for a week and so on.

Or maybe you want to do something highly ambitious with your career. Is it time to make that career move you've been putting off? If it's not quite time for the move, maybe it's time to make a plan for the move.

Or maybe you, too, can make or add to your bucket list. In 2012 I've committed to doing something on my bucket list that is actually very doable... go see the Rocky Mountains. I've put it off long enough, and I'm not getting any younger! (Yep, having a birthday tends to make you think about those kinds of things!)

Hey, if you've never done a personal planning retreat before, maybe that's the first thing you should be setting your sights on accomplishing next year!

Wishing you loads of joy, laughter and prosperity in the New Year!

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they can bring who they are to what they do. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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10 Traits of Excellent Leaders

What trait do you admire most in a leader and why?

If you are a leader or an aspiring leader, this is an important question to answer for yourself.  When you analyze what you admire, you can consciously adopt those traits and incorporate them into your own leadership style.

In the organizational influence class that I teach, I always start the program by asking participants to answer this question.  It helps when I also ask them to identify what leader, famous or not, exhibits the trait they most admire.  It’s always a lively and fun group discussion, as well as a valuable exercise.

Over time, I’ve realized that 10 traits are consistently mentioned in these discussions.  There’s a good chance that you, too, have known leaders who embody these traits.

10 Traits of Excellent Leaders 
1. Trust
Trust, in this case, means being someone who people want to trust.  It also means trusting others (who prove themselves) to carry out their parts of the mission or in the relationship. So it’s being trusting, and it’s being trustworthy.

2. Honesty
Most people agree that if you don’t demonstrate honesty and integrity, then you won’t gain trust.  Being someone who keeps promises also engenders trust.  Some people also add that they admire a leader who “tells it like it is.”  Honest communication inspires followership.

3. Recognizing Others
Humbly acknowledging that, as the leader, you aren’t the only one with knowledge, skills and abilities is one way to do this. However, the fundamental expression of “recognizing others” is simply recognizing the accomplishments of others.  It’s the proverbial “pat on the back.”  Everyone agrees that this kind of morale boosting is a very important trait of an excellent leader. 

4. Courage
Some would say “fearless” here, but, actually, it’s not that the leader has to be without fear (in fact, no one can be human without possessing at least a little fear).  Having courage is doing what it takes and standing up for what is right.  Class participants will often cite famous historical leaders who stood with courage in hard times such as Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy.

5. Vision
Not only do excellent leaders provide a vision for those they’re leading, but they also have a strong personal vision for themselves.  They know who they are, what they stand for and where they’re going.  Their vision provides the foundation for them to be courageous when needed.

6. Humor
Humor under pressure is a hallmark of many great leaders.  For example, while being wheeled into surgery after he was shot, President Ronald Reagan said to emergency-room staff, "I hope you're all Republicans." People appreciate when leaders show a sense of humor even when it’s not pressure time.  Humor makes a leader more accessible and relatable, and, when used wisely, it improves morale because of the good feeling it stirs in others.

7. Positivity
Being positive doesn’t mean being unrealistically so.  It means that you are willing to learn and grow from mistakes and challenges rather than let them beat you down.  Also some of the best leaders are win/win focused.  They act from a sense of what is the best solution that benefits the good of all concerned.  They also plan for success and exhibit a healthy dose of optimism.

8. Willing To Work
Many people admire a leader who is willing to step off the top of the ladder for a moment and do the actual work if necessary.  When it comes to crunch time, excellent leaders will ask, “What can I do to help?”  They “roll up their sleeves” and pitch in or work to obtain whatever resources are needed.  A leader who shows a willingness to work inspires others to do the same – he or she leads by example.

9. Listening
Listening well entails being fully present with the person who is speaking.  Excellent leaders practice the skill of active listening, which leads to loyalty by followers who feel respected and relevant.  However, this trait also reflects another aspect that is important to followers.  You should also be open-minded.  Be willing to listen to suggestions and input so that you can be highly responsive to changes and needs.

10. Passion
When you have a vision, you will usually have passion.  They pretty much go hand-in-hand.  Passion doesn’t have to look like Adolf Hitler pounding his fist fanatically during a speech even though that is one way passion might look to followers.  Passion is demonstrated in the sincerity of your words, the consistency of your actions and the clarity of your communications about your vision.  Basically, this trait means that you have to believe in what you’re doing, and the expression of that will come out naturally as passion.        

Earlier I used the phrase, “if you are a leader or an aspiring leader…”  I’d like to point out that leadership comes in all shapes and sizes.  Of course, leading typically refers to elected or appointed executives in a government, institution or organization.  However, it also means being a parent; being an older sibling; mentoring, teaching or coaching children or adults; being a volunteer leader; leading a study group or a project; stepping in whenever the boss is unavailable, etc.

Where in your life do you fill a leadership role, even if it’s temporarily?  And how would you answer the question, “What do you admire most in a leader and why?”  I’d love to know if you come up with any other outstanding leadership traits besides these 10.  

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they can bring who they are to what they do. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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O Tannenbaum by the Vince Guaraldi Trio - Merry Christmas!

As far as I'm concerned, Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without Snoopy, Charlie Brown and the gang... and here's the best-ever jazz Christmas song: "O Tannenbaum" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio

 

 

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Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they can bring who they are to what they do. To learn more, please visit: www.insyncresources.com
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