Attitude and Longitude

Another "Act of Kindness" Sighting

My faith in humanity's capacity for compassion and gratitude was reinforced yesterday when I witnessed an act of kindness.  It was a lovely day, temps in the 70's, bright blue skies, beautifully sunny.  My friends and I met for lunch at one of Austin's best-known places to enjoy a good meal outdoors... Shady Grove on Barton Springs Road.  We weren't the only ones with this idea - the restaurant was packed!

Naturally, after we were seated the waiter left to fetch our drinks, giving us a few minutes to look over the menu.  He delivered our drinks, telling us that he'd be back in a minute, and moved a few steps over to the table next to us where 6 or 7 young men dressed in digi camo were enjoying their meals.  Before my friends and I could resume our small talk, we heard the waiter say to the soldiers, "Just wanted to let you guys know that your bill's been taken care of by that man sitting over there."

One of the young men (and I mean young... they all looked to be about 19 or 20 years old) asked, "Which man, is it the one over there in orange and blue?"  When the waiter said yes, the young soldiers all rose immediately and walked over to the table where this man and his family (consisting of two little kids and his wife) were getting up to leave after paying their own tab.  To a man, they shook his hand, saying thank you before going back through the busy restaurant to their table.

After witnessing this awesome moment, I went back to the conversation with my friends.  What an gracious act of kindness, I thought.  Not only to do it in the first place but to pick up what must have easily been a $90+ meal for those soldiers.  Later, as the young men stood up and started to leave, an older woman, probably in her late 40's, came over and boldly looked each one in the eye and thanked them for their service.  I couldn't miss this display as it happened right next to our table.  They politely accepted her comments, donned their black berets and filed out of the restaurant.  My patriotic heart was singing, but even more than that I was proud of my fellow civilians for unabashedly showing their gratitude for those who serve and defend our freedom.

After telling my husband this story, he showed me the website for The Gratitude Campaign.  This site has a short video encouraging and showing how to make a hand sign to express "thank you from the bottom of my heart" as a way to thank members of our military when you see them in public.   American Sign Language starts the sign for thank you from the chin, but, apparently, the original sign, started at the heart, as shown on this website.

Now I have a way to show them my gratitude next time too.  In the meantime... To all of the members of our military, active or inactive, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Let Your RAS Focus On The How

Finally!  I have an even better layperson's understanding for what happens in our brain when we shift our thinking.  You see, I'm not a brain scientist (nor do I play one on t.v.!), but I've read and heard many times that when we change our thoughts, we literally change our brain... that we cause the neural cells to rearrange and reconfigure in our brain.  In doing so, we are able to shift old patterns of thinking and being.  What I didn't know is that there is a messaging system at the base of our skull called the RAS (Reticular Activating System) that connects the brain with the rest of the body.

In Getting It Together, author Christina Randle explains that using this RAS part of our brain "makes it easier to get what we want - and in a more organic and easy manner."  She says that our brains are "designed to have us be right."  Randle also points out that the brain doesn't understand when we want less of something or words like "don't."  When we tell a child, "Don't spill the milk!" the child will, of course, spill the milk.

Randle suggests that we focus on what we do want rather than what we don't want as much as possible.  In my work with clients who are creating shifts forward inwardly and outwardly, I encourage them to list what they don't want as a way to access what they do want.  After that, the focus is all about what they do want.  We shift forward when we purge that negative stuff which no longer serves us. 

Randle sums it all up with the following comments:  "One of the best aspects about an Intention is that you are telling your brain and the body what you want.  It will figure out the how.  Once you have clearly identified your Intention, the RAS immediately begins to scan your environment for options, ideas and resources.  This way, you don't have to worry and focus on the specifics of how this will happen.  You focus and get clear on the what - the Outcome.  The RAS focuses on the how."  

The Tao of Junior Varsity Men's Basketball

My husband coaches a junior varsity men’s high school basketball team.  Last night, they lost again by about 20 points.  In spite of one more defeat in a winless season, everyone was excited because the team never gave up during the entire game, even when the gap on the scoreboard grew ever wider.  There are a few on this particular team who have never competed in basketball before, but they got out there and played hard, not letting their mistakes deter their enthusiasm.

I asked my husband how he felt about the evening.  He said, “I don’t think basketball teaches you character, I think it reveals character.”  How true, especially for his team, or “my guys” as he calls him.  After all, these are young men in their early teens exploring who they are and how they fit into the world... and with each other on and off the court. 

As I watched them get out there and do the complicated dance of exercising skills they are still trying to perfect while also learning to work with each other in front of an audience of cheering peers, parents and teachers, I realized that I was observing the formation of what Malcolm Gladwell refers to as the “optimal state” in his book, Blink. 

Gladwell points out that during certain levels of stress, at critical moments, we enter an optimal state of "arousal" of our senses.  We experience "extreme visual clarity, tunnel vision, diminished sound, and the sense that time is slowing down".  He talks about how athletes, like Larry Bird (legendary forward for the Boston Celtics from 1979 to 1992), are able to play in that optimal range where time seems to slow down. 

Bill Russell, another Boston Celtics superstar (1956–1969) wrote about this in his autobiography, Second Wind (source:  Bronx Banter: Quick Six by Alex Belth):

Every so often a Celtic game would heat up so that it would become more than a physical or even mental game, and would be magical. That feeling is difficult to describe, and I certainly never talked about it when I was playing. When it happened I could feel my play rise to a new level. It came rarely, and would last anywhere from five minutes to a whole quarter. Three or four plays were not enough to get it going. It would surround not only me and the other Celtics but also the players on the other team, and even the referees. To me, the key was that both teams had to be playing at their peaks…It never started with a hot streak by a single player, or with a breakdown of one team's defense. It usually began when three or four of the ten guys on the floor would heat up; they would be the catalysts, and they were almost always the stars in the league…The feeling would spread to the other guys, and we'd all levitate. Then the game would just take off, and there'd be a natural ebb and flow that reminded you of how rhythmic and musical basketball is supposed to be. I'd find myself thinking, "This is it. I want this to keep going," and I'd actually be rooting for the other team. When their players made spectacular moves, I wanted their shots to go into the bucket; that's how pumped up I'd be. I'd be out there talking to the other Celtics, encouraging them and pushing myself harder, but at the same time part of me would be pulling for the other players too.

The game would move so quickly that every fake, cut and pass would be surprising, and yet nothing could surprise me. It was almost as if we were playing in slow motion. During those spells I could almost sense how the next play would develop and where the next shot would be taken. Even before the other team brought the ball in bounds, I could feel it so keenly that I'd want to shout to my teammates, "It's coming there!"--except that I knew everything would change if I did. My premonitions would be consistently correct, and I always felt then that I not only knew all the Celtics by heart but also all the opposing players, and that they all knew me. There have been many times in my career when I felt moved or joyful, but these were the moments when I had chills pulsing up and down my spine.

The young people on my husband’s team are still honing that ability to know what to do in the blink of an eye, which, to me, is simply using skill plus intuition in a balanced way.  Will they ever experience being in the zone like Bill Russell describes?  Who knows?  Maybe.  But one thing is for sure... this work that they are doing now is where their self-confidence begins.  Larry Bird himself addresses this in his book, Bird on Basketball:  “It's important to pay attention to your teammates' and opponents' moves on the court, but it's not enough for you to sit back and take in all that information.  You've got to use it.  Basketball is a fast paced game.  Opportunities come and go in the blink of an eye.  Use your knowledge of the game to decide your next move, and make it, immediately.” 

My husband often quotes Yoda from Star Wars, “Do or do not, there is no try!”  Knowing my husband, he probably doesn’t care that George Lucas’ Yoda was actually a Zen Master or that Yoda’s statement to Luke Skywalker reflects an internal state of being that lies at the heart of Zen Buddhist philosophy.  He, like most of us on this human journey, just knows truth when he hears it. 

(By the way, check out this excellent short essay by Charles MacInerney called The Tao of Wu Wei.  He also quotes Yoda as he discusses “effortless doing” and adds, “Athletes who experience this state later talk of being ‘in the zone’ and of achieving peak performance without calculation, hesitation or effort.”)

I admit it’s sometimes hard for me to imagine my husband being like Yoda teaching Zen mastery to youngsters, but, indeed, he is truly teaching our future young heroes how to reveal their character and how to achieve an optimal zone of balanced skill and intuition.  They are the ones who will someday make confident, in-the-blink-of-an-eye decisions which will affect their kids, their professional colleagues and their country... even if they only now seem like a bunch of gawky teenagers on a struggling junior varsity basketball team.

Distractions of Grown-up Life

I woke up this morning thinking this thought:  we are so distracted by the pressures to support ourselves (and our children, if we have any) that we often forget our gifts and their desire to be brought out and developed. 

I thought about my daughter and her artistic talent, about how she is so distracted from practicing her sketching and painting.  She is busy in her teenager life, which is filled with school, friends, basketball and babysitting.  She is a master at manifesting what she wants.  She needed to raise $200 to go on a summer vacation with her friend's family, so she found the housekeeping, grass-cutting and babysitting jobs to make it happen.  She wanted to join a fitness club and then arranged to get the rides to and from the club (she can't drive yet) from friends and family.  She made this happen because she wants to get in shape for basketball season.  Her goal is to be a starter at the post position.  You know, I believe she can do that too. 

Recently, I asked her about a painting she had imagined doing this summer - she had described it to me in vivid detail.  "I haven't gotten around to it, Mom.  I've been too busy." 

I have been proud of her drive, her enthusiasm and her courage, but I have to admit that a twinge of sadness came across me when she said that.  It's like I want to speak for the painting and tell her how much it wants to be born.  I see it in my mind's eye as she described it, and it's so beautiful to me.  I really want to see it come alive through this master of creating, this master of manifesting who is my daughter... but there's only so many hours in the day, of course.  As her parent, I've done what I was expected to do.  That is, I taught her to excel in her job.  Her job is school right now, and, well, she is "training" for the real grown-up world.  I can't exactly call homework a distraction from developing her artistic gift, can I?  

In the end, I realize that whether she is working with acrylics on canvas or setting intentions to be a starter on the basketball team, she is being creative.  She is co-creating her life as she so desires.  And, even though there's not too much time for fingerpainting as we get older, I do hope she doesn't rush into the distractions of grown-up life too soon.  It's guaranteed that before long she'll be thinking about the car note, the mortgage and the groceries, even though those distractions are still years away.  Yet, already she is a mini-version of her dad and me as she sees us trying to manifest ways to pay our bills, meet our goals.    

As I awaken to the reality of how distracted I have been from the wonderment of the gifts I have been given... the gifts still waiting to be developed, I wonder if it's too late to encourage my teenager to take a deep breath before the distractions of grown-up life take over too much of her reason for breathing. 

Happy Leap Year 2008!

Leap Year 2008...

Technically, this means we add a day to our February calendar so that we have 366 instead of 365 days in 2008.  Apparently, we do this to accommodate minor anomalies in the calculations regarding the earth’s rotation around the sun.  Even though I have geek tendencies, I won’t bore you with a science lesson.  Actually, there’s a great layperson’s explanation on www.infoplease.com about leap year.  Check it out if you are the type of person who loves to know why things are the way they are... or if you just love trivia like I do!

Even though I think the science is interesting, what really appeals to me about leap year is that we get an extra day this year.  I mean, how many of us go around saying “I don’t ever have enough time to get everything done”?  Well, now, with one extra day, just think what you can do!

Does your mind turn to the work piled at your desk when I say this?  Well, I would ask you that you consider the fun things you never get to do because there’s never enough time.  With that extra 24 hours, maybe you can go to the park and fly a kite.  Maybe you can make room in your day to toss a Frisbee with your kids.  Maybe you can sit down and outline that book you’ve always wanted to write.  Maybe you can call up someone you haven’t talked to in ages just to check in and say hello.  Just maybe you can use the few extra minutes you’ll have during this leap year to stop and smell the roses.

They say our lives are getting speedier and speedier, and it’s not going to slow down anytime soon.  Fast food, short songs because of short attention spans, travel at the speed of sound, instant information at our fingertips... well, you get the point.  I’d say it’s really great that we have sped up and are using more of our ability, however where’s the counterbalance?  When everyone is go, go, go, then you get widespread heart disease.  Deliberately slowing down... our heartbeats... is a counterbalance.  I’d make the argument that we can view this leap year as a counterbalance.  Stop to smell the roses... you have the time now.

And by the way, who says you have to do it all at once?  Grab the extra 1440 minutes we have in 2008 and consider spreading out the stuff you’ve been putting off.  Wrap your mind around this – you can actually spend an extra 3.9 minutes every day smelling roses because of Leap Year 2008!

Oh, one more thing.  There’s something noteworthy about this particular leap year.  February 29, 2008 falls on a Friday - talk about TGIF!  One website, www.timeanddate.com points out that the last time we had a February with 5 Fridays was in 1980 and that the next one won’t occur until 2036.  It’s not too late to plan ahead for some fun this Friday.  Have a Happy Leap Year!

Use the Vision Behind your Eyes to See the Blessings in Your "Suffering"

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. –Helen Keller

What do you perceive during times of sadness and misfortune? Can you find the blessings in your suffering? The blessings are always there.  When you spot them, ask yourself, "Is this really suffering, then?"

Terah Duncan Stearns says that "Every experience is like a mirror for you." That's so true!  It’s just a matter of your perspective. If you use the vision behind your eyes, you will see the blessing of the "contrasts" that pop up against the perception of your happiness. As a woman without sight or sound in her life, Helen Keller apparently knew all about that kind of vision.

There is a woman I know personally and love dearly who lives with this truth daily. She’s a nursing student with chronic health issues. Once a collegiate athlete, she has now lost her ability to walk. She relies on a motorized wheelchair and handicap transportation services to get her around. She regularly receives treatments in a 4-week cycle at the hospital. It’s kind of like dialysis – she plugs into a machine which delivers life-giving fluids. Is this suffering? Yes, from one point of view, it is. However, these treatments improve the quality of her life and play a part in overcoming her suffering overall. Without the treatments she can’t swallow, she can’t hold a pen or write... she can’t perform basic bodily functions that most of us take for granted.  She also has super-enhanced compassion and empathy for those who live with similar challenges.

She is determined to complete her education because she plans to become a specialist in her field and make her contribution to humankind, not realizing just how much she already contributes by being a light in the darkness, by being the example of perseverance to those she encounters in her life’s journey. She shows me that although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.

Why I Love The Blues

People ask me to name my favorite music style, and without hesitation I have to say The Blues. I like jazz, I like top-40, I like some classical, and I like most rock, but I love The Blues. My husband teases me that I have a thing for old black guys, but he’s got it wrong, of course. I love the Blues women, too. I also really appreciate what some white folks have done with the sound directly and indirectly. All hail Stevie Ray Vaughn and Eric Clapton!

I love The Blues it in most of its forms... from traditional to rock. I think the only kind I don’t usually like is that crying-in-your-beer, whiny-sounding country blues. I guess because that kind of music can actually be depressing. Real Blues is not depressing. It’s truly uplifting. It makes me tap my feet. It makes my body sway. It makes me smile. The lyrics are often hilarious. The first time I fell in love with The Blues was when I was in my mid 20’s. I owned this tank of a car, a 1968 Olds Delta 88, and it had the original radio in the console, which only picked up AM stations. There was a blues music show that would come on every Wednesday evening during my commute home from work. I still don’t know what the female singer’s name was, but that song she sang about how she was going to get revenge on her lover for cheating had me laughing out loud. I was hooked from that moment.

When asked, I never could truly explain why The Blues gets to me like it does. That is... until I recently purchased a CD called Birth Of The Blues: Searching For The Blues. It was about 5 bucks at one of the local discount bookstores, so I snatched it up, eager to hear more of the early stuff. On it there are traditional artists like Barbecue Bob, Brownie McGee & Washboard Sam, Big Bill Broonzy (Don’t you just love these names? Puff Daddy and Jay Z should be green with envy!), Mildred Bailey, Billie Holiday, Bessie Smith, Blind Lemon Jefferson, Memphis Minnie, and more. Anyway, it was this disc’s liner notes that hit home and explains it all for me.

"The classic blues is a twelve bar verse, three lines of four bars each, the lyric consists of couplets, with the first line repeated once. Each line of text takes about two and a half bars, the rest of the four bar segment is improvised fill, sometimes vocal, but usually provided by the singer’s own guitar or piano." The Penguin Encyclopedia of Popular Music.

According to strict musical definition, Blues was a folk music that evolved among ex-slaves in the 19th Century from their work songs.

The blues was frowned upon by the educated classes, both black and white, as it went against European musical practice, by uniquely using major and minor modes. "Blue notes" seemed to have stemmed more or less directly from African music.

The classic blues lyrics came from a collection of images, phrases and words including the jargon used by the American blacks to safely express themselves since the earliest days of slavery.

Not a vehicle of self-pity, contrary to belief, the Blues is a passionate and rhythmic way of keeping up the spirit. Commenting on the problems of life and love with ironic lyric and earthy imagery. Blues is ostensibly a music of great human bravery, a music to defeat the enemy by confronting him.

So, there you go - "...a passionate and rhythmic way of keeping up the spirit." And "... a music to defeat the enemy by confronting him." I don’t think I could have said it better than that. Even if there were no lyrics, I must admit that the sound and rhythm of The Blues stirs my soul. However, the down-to-earth messages in these songs – the lyrics about the shared human condition of being low and trying to live with it and move on – that really resonates for me.

B.B. King, a Bluesman who knows how to keep on keeping up the spirit, just turned 82 this month... on September 16. His, I’ve Got Some Outside Help I Don’t Need, is one of my favorite Blues songs with my favorite lines, "I want to tell that slick insurance man that he better write some insurance on his self." Happy Birthday, B.B., and thanks for all the smiles!

I've Got Some Outside Help I Don't Need

All of your affection is gone baby
And your love is growing cold
I've said all of your affection is gone baby
and your love is growing cold
Hey, I've got a new story to tell you this evening, baby
One that ain't never been told

I went to work the other day
But I thought that I would double back
And that car I saw sitting in front of my door
Looked like a brand new, a brand new Cadillac, yeah!

I ain't got none now baby
I think you've been cheating on me
I believe to my soul baby,
that you've given me some outside help
That I don't think I really need

The iceman came by this morning
And you know he didn't leave no ice
The postman came by later baby
And he didn't even ring twice

I think you've been cheating on me
I think you're running out on me
I believe to my soul baby,
that you've given me some outside help
That I don't think I really need

Now, I want you to tell the iceman
The next time he'd better leave some ice
And I want you to tell the postman
He'd better ring more than twice

And when I come home from work in the morning
Better still be some groceries on the shelf.
I want to tell that slick insurance man
That he'd better write some insurance on his self.

Yes, I think you've been cheating on me
I think you're running out on me
I believe to my soul baby,
that you've given me some help, some help
Some help, I don't really need

World Changers class of 2007 - "Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?"

Carol wants to teach the deaf to become world-class communicators.
Linda wants to inspire people to overcome adversity.
Dan wants to free kids from addiction.
Kay wants to empower mothers to change the world.
Morgan wants to fill classical music concert halls with young people.
Claudia wants women to donate hope to women ravaged by war.
Melissa wants to increase organ donor participation.
Lenja wants to take Slovenian radio advertising into a new era.
Andy wants to teach kids in Nigeria to think creatively.
Kathy wants to embolden Native Americans to articulate their culture.

Me? (top row, dark hair, black shirt) I want to help people find jobs. Thing is, I’ve discovered that the deeper goal is to empower people to find joy, and if they find that through their jobs, great – at least I know how to help get them going in that direction.

So, this week there were eleven of us with eleven different world-changing objectives. All of us were granted generous scholarships, enthusiastically armed and then encouraged to find windmills on new horizons.

Dan asked me if I intended to post something about these three intense days. I hesitated in answering. Of course, I’m compelled to try, but how can I accurately summarize this experience? No way am I going to dare to presume how it transformed anyone else, but from the energy and excitement among us in the farewell, it was obvious that we all got something pretty damned awesome out of this.

For me the Wizard Academy's World Changers experience
was intellectually and artistically stimulating,
made me question many perceptions,
provided insights into a few mysteries I never had names for,
emboldened and energized me,
reinforced and further clarified my vision,
very definitely improved my writing,
enabled connections with some amazing people,
and inspired me to stretch.

And that is not truly everything I gained, however the rest is nearly impossible for me to express in word language.

Roy Williams challenges... no, demands... that you use all the parts of your brain – the brain he’s just taught you about, of course. It’s rather like that piece of Robert Browning’s poem, Andrea Del Sarto, Roy shared with us, "Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?"

So, how do I write about this experience? Not really sure I should say a whole lot more, Dan. This stuff might be better understood through our pursuant actions – through the hard work we’ve decided to make of our lives.

Olympic athlete, Michael Johnson, said, "Life is often compared to a marathon, but I think it is more like being a sprinter; long stretches of hard work punctuated by brief moments in which we are given the opportunity to perform at our best."

The eleven of us have been given an opportunity to perform at our best. We’ve been given an opportunity to glimpse inside ourselves to see what that best might be. Yes, all of us are committed to changing the world, however something unexpected has happened. This experience changed the world inside of us.

Many thanks to the entire staff at the Wizard Academy, to my fellow graduates of the World Changers class of 2007, and especially to you, Roy.

How A Rude Person Did Me A Favor One Spring Morning While I Ate A Pancake

I got annoyed the other day – really annoyed. Suddenly all the centering breathing, all the forgiveness praying and all the concentrating on releasing negativity wasn’t going to cut it. Enlightened calm and inner peace? Ha! I’d been stood up, and I was pretty aggravated.

Oh sure, many candidates have not shown up to job interviews with me over the years, but, over time, I’ve learned that people are people – some are conscientious, some are downright rude, while others deserve the benefit of the doubt. Over time, I have found it easier to shrug off a no show, no call. You know, don’t sweat the small stuff and all that jazz.

But this time it was different. Why? Why would I be feeling this upset? When the words "righteous anger" went through my head, I knew something else was up with me. True to my nature, I have to know why I’m reacting. Possible reasons?

It could be that I had forgone my morning workout so I could be there on time, thereby sacrificing a commitment to myself to fulfill a commitment to a stranger.

It could be that I had left a load of work at my desk so I could squeeze in this interview with her before a lunchtime appointment.

It could be that it was out of my way to go to a coffee shop to meet her, and I had given her my cell phone number so she could reach me in the event her plans changed.

However, even though all those things factored in, what I realized bothered me most was this… she had not shown up or called me while coming to interview for a job through my company. You see, I don’t work for someone else anymore. I’ve recently gone out on my own and work for myself now, and every contact I’ve been making with potential clients and prospective candidates has held an immediate promise of impacting my family’s monetary welfare. Even though I've always worked hard for my previous employers, it seems like everything I now do during the workday has become profoundly important, and for this reason I found myself particularly annoyed.

Aha! But, you see, I didn’t figure this out at first. It took some unwinding to get there.

So, I’m sitting there in the coffee shop with my cup of decaf, waiting. 5, 10, 15 minutes, and she’s still not there. Feeling annoyed. Feeling resigned. She’s not coming. I remember that I hadn’t eaten breakfast in my rush to get there. I remember that this place, Austin Java, makes a rockin’ gingerbread pancake, so I splurge and order one. A luxury to be sure because I haven’t had a pancake in ages. I go outside, find a table and force myself to try and relax. She clearly isn’t coming. I make a call to her number just to be sure we haven’t crossed wires. No answer. Tuck the phone away. Still vaguely wondering if she might show up late. Breathe… no, it’s really more of a sigh.

I then become aware of what a phenomenally gorgeous spring day it is… totally clear sky, warming sun and cool breeze blowing every so often. Breathe… this time it’s a true inhale/exhale. It hits me that, back at the office, I wouldn’t have had such high contact with this kind of reality if I hadn’t come here. The window would be closed, and the air would be recycled and artificially conditioned to a comfortable temp. Yet, here, outside the coffee shop, it's already a natural 72 degrees or so. That alternate reality, my usual reality, would be of a telephone talking and computer tapping intensity – a kind of cyber reality instead of this sorta nature reality. It suddenly feels like a guilty pleasure to be here in the middle of a workday morning.

Then here comes my luscious pancake, another guilty pleasure, filling the plate with its goodness and smelling of exotic ginger spice. I slather it with cinnamon butter. No syrup or extra toppings necessary. Delish! Sudden mood shift. I’m lighter – it’s like I’m having a mini, one-hour vacation.

Okay, so you mean, the rude person who stood me up really did me a favor?

What if I gave her the benefit of the doubt?
…maybe she’s in the hospital unconscious
…maybe someone died, and she’s too distraught to call
…maybe her phone and her computer broke, so she can't contact me
…maybe she has a criminal background and is embarrassed to tell me

And I realize that this is as it’s always been and that I am the one who is creating my distress by hanging more significance on this meeting than usual.

And I realize that ultimately her thoughtlessness has led me to a rare moment of slowing down and thoughtfulness. If she had shown up, I would not have had this rare break, this luxurious spring morning reality, this one-hour mini vacation. In surrendering my righteous anger at this person’s rudeness, I accept the blessing of the moment… a rather beautiful moment actually. Lemonade out of lemons, I guess. Wow! So that’s how this energy transformation stuff works!

To My Pal Who Approaches Her Fortieth Birthday With Trepidation

Mountain dwelling

Things of the past are already long gone
And things to be, distant beyond imagining.
The Tao is just this moment, these words:
Plum blossoms fallen; gardenia just opening.
--Ch’ing Kung

To my pal who approaches her fortieth birthday with trepidation, chill out!

Relax!

You know that there is no real time except that of the Now – that of this moment. You know that you are not your ego, but, rather, you are an endless, eternal spiritual being who is merely caught up here in a relatively small speck of time enjoying an interesting human experience. You know, contextually, that a year (or forty years) should not cause you any angst, my friend.

So, since you already know all that, just consider this a friendly reminder.  Take a deep breath, then exhale, and let the flowering of your blessed life simply occur. Let your fortieth decade unfold its petals and blossom. Realize the power of your unique beauty and be the "gardenia just opening".

In other words, get out of your own dang way and enjoy what is to come, my friend! Welcome to the forties – the weather is just fine here!

Perspective On News Ratings Grabbers: The World Is Better Off Than We Give It Credit For Being

"Yes", I told a friend today when she remarked that the world is better off than we give it credit for being, "I believe we are far better off than what we've been hearing in the news."  Is this just some Pollyana point of view?  Heck no! 

You know the old newspaper business saying, "If it bleeds, it leads".  Sensationalizing pain and suffering has been what the people have demanded and what the free enterprise system has supplied.  I love free enterprise, but what if the people decided to change what they demand?  Mmm, now that's an interesting concept!

Below is a passage from a newsletter I received unexpectedly in the mail the other day (You never know where wisdom will show up!).  This message really resonates with me and supports exactly what I've been thinking: 

"I know from outer appearances it looks like the horrific things taking place on Earth are involving the masses of Humanity, but that is an illusion.  In Truth, the terrible things we are perceiving through the media involve a mere fraction of the six billion souls evolving on this planet.  The vast majority of people around the world are loving people who are striving to live positive lives.  Everyday billions of people on Earth turn their attention to God and invoke the  highest good for their loved ones and all Humanity.  These prayers are always heard, and they are being answered." --Patricia Diane Cota-Robles, New Age Study of Humanity's Purpose

I don't want to turn off the news because I want to be informed, but as my awareness has grown, I am beginnning to see that we are allowing ourselves to be being pounded over and over again by the 24/7 coverage of certain stories.  The leading stories, which are usually the most sensationally negative ones, are being re-introduced at the top of every hour.  Rarely, do I see any positive, uplifting stories.  Stories that would show us what is going well in the world.  Beware of the message that this world is self-destructing because it isn't.  Those are just ratings grabbers you're watching and listening to!

Postive Thought + Postive Action = Contentment (and a ripple effect)

"Even the hardest mathematics problems usually have an easy solution; it is just finding the right formula that can be difficult. When confronted with difficulties in life, don't look for the solution, look for the formula which we all have: contentment=positive thought + positive action. Once you've worked out the positives, you can work out the solution."

Copyright 2006 Allen Steble

Thanks goes to my friend, Cheyanne, for this quote.  She sends out a thought each day by email.  She reminds me of this old poem my mom always loved and shared with me when I was little, Drop a Pebble in the Water.  Cheyanne practices the idea of dropping a word of kindness and cheer every time she sends her email.  Way to go, Girl! 

Drop a Pebble in the Water

Drop a pebble in the water: just a splash, and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Spreading, spreading from the center, flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.

Drop a pebble in the water: in a minute you forget,
But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,
And those little waves a-flowing to a great big wave have grown;
You've disturbed a mighty river just by dropping in a stone.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.
They keep spreading, spreading, spreading from the center as they go,
And there is no way to stop them, once you've started them to flow.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute you forget;
But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,
And perhaps in some sad heart a mighty wave of tears you've stirred,
And disturbed a life was happy ere you dropped that unkind word.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: just a flash and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Bearing hope and joy and comfort on each splashing, dashing wave
Till you wouldn't believe the volume of the one kind word you gave.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: in a minute you forget;
But there's gladness still a-swelling, and there's joy acircling yet,
And you've rolled a wave of comfort whose sweet music can be heard
Over miles and miles of water just by dropping one kind word.

--James W. Foley

Toothpaste

When I made my regular weekly trip to the grocery store last Saturday, I decided to pick up a replacement tube of toothpaste.  I went to the toothpaste aisle to find my preferred brand, and it was pretty overwhelming over there.  There were so many variations of the product, I had trouble finding my favorite – cool mint gel with tartar control and fluoride.  I definitely didn’t want the white mint paste, which I think is too chalky.  I didn’t want peroxide or baking soda or anything fancy like that.  I just wanted a tube of what I always get and have probably gotten for the past ten years.  Should be simple, right?  Wrong.  In addition to offering an overwhelming number of choices, they changed the packaging on me, too.  All of a sudden I had to think about what my options were – I had to stop and read labels.  Gosh, this would take time!  How dare they change things on me! How dare they waste my precious time! 

Okay, (sigh) so I read the labels.  One box proclaimed that it would give me “12 hours of fresh breath”.  Another package offered a teeth whitening option.  Well, I could live with that – who doesn’t want fresh breath?  Who doesn’t want white teeth?  I thought, “I can handle this – I’m a label loving American, right?”  So I read the active ingredients on both boxes.  Wait a minute!  Both ingredient lists said exactly the same thing.  The marketing guys were messing with us consumers, and I was getting frustrated because all I wanted was my regular darn toothpaste. 

Then, all of a sudden, in mid-whine, I stopped myself.  (Brake screeching sound.)  What the heck was the matter with me?  All these choices before me, and I was whining about the inconvenience of having so many.  Then it hit me.  The toothpaste aisle actually epitomizes a major component of the American lifestyle – the freedom to choose.  We want our choices, and the marketing people are just giving us what we want… at least, in this case, they are giving us the appearance of a choice on the package even if the ingredients are the same! 

Then in an instant my annoyance changed into gratitude… okay, I admit it.  There was a little guilt thrown in there too.  Really, though, how dare I complain having too many choices?  People are being wiped out by genocide on the other side of the planet, and I was aggravated about toothpaste.  Gaining more perspective and gratitude, I remembered what my friend told me when she came back from a business trip in Manila last year.  She described the poor people she saw along the way to her nice hotel.  She told me about their appalling living conditions – about their cardboard box “houses” and naked babies without diapers and about how when the rain washed away their boxes, they had to go find another to live in.  Do those people even have toothpaste?

I am grateful for the choices I have, for my toothpaste and, yes, even for the aggravation I had last Saturday.  It’s far better to have so many choices than none at all.

Think It, Act It, Be It

"Think excitement, talk excitement, act out excitement, and you are bound to become an excited person. Life will take on a new zest, deeper interest and greater meaning. You can think, talk and act yourself into dullness or into monotony or into unhappiness. By the same process you can build up inspiration, excitement and surging depth of joy." --Norman Vincent Peale

This really works.  I used to be a shy person – I guess I’m still somewhat of an introvert, actually.  To me, curling up with a good book is still more relaxing than going to a party… on most days anyway.  But, I used to have this irrational anxiety and dread about going to parties and meeting new people or mingling with people that I had maybe met once but didn’t know very well.  Inevitably, I would come up with excuses and ways to talk myself out of going to an event.  My husband would say, “C’mon, get excited.  You know you’ll have a good time.  You always end up having a good time.” 

Ultimately, I’m a practical person, and I can’t stay in an irrational place for very long.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, I can get there – I just can’t stay there for very long (especially with my husband pointing it out). So, no matter how uncomfortable I felt, I would put on a smile and screw up my courage and go to the dang party.  Oh sure, I would be playacting my way to the party, playacting my way through the introductions or re-introductions, and playacting my way through the first painfully difficult half hour or so.  Then, somehow something would click, and my pretending to be comfortable and excited would transform into a level of actual comfort and excitement.  Finding the common point of interest with someone or a few people usually did it.  In pretending to be part of the circle, I began to feel like I was part of the circle, and, of course, then I became accepted as part of the circle. 

I was always surprised at myself when the evening was over, followed by a proud sense of, “I did it.”  And, of course, my husband would end up saying something like, “Now, was that so bad?  You did have a good time after all.”

Okay, so maybe this simply illustrates that my husband was instrumental to my success in overcoming shyness, and I’m grateful to him for his persistence and patience all those years ago.  But, I assure you he would be the first to admit (after he took his bow, of course) that my acting and thinking as though I was more extroverted led me to being more extroverted than came naturally.

I guess that old saying, “practice makes perfect”, holds true.  I’m far from perfect, but the more I have practiced being comfortable in new situations with new people, the more I have felt comfortable – even if I would still rather relax with a good book in my cushy living room chair.  But to think that I now actually love getting up in front of a crowd and speaking publicly!  Trust me, in doing all this thinking and acting out excitement, my life has taken “on a new zest, deeper interest and greater meaning”.

Hope And Faith In This Generation

Hope and faith are amazing things
Something to be cherished and nurtured
Something that will refresh us in return
They can be found in each and every one of us
And they can bring light into the darkest of places
They bend, they twist, they sometimes hide, but rarely do they break,
They give us strength when nothing else can.

-Tammy Clancy

Hope and faith is what drives me to the next minute and into tomorrow.  I hope that I’m doing my best and living well, and I have faith that I’m moving in the right direction with my life.

However, hope and faith really makes me think about my thirteen-year old daughter.  I am hopeful that she will realize her full potential and that she will meet her life’s struggles with dignity, compassion, and a level-head.  I think about her friends, classmates and cousins and am hopeful that they will grow into joyful, strong, courageous adults.  I hope this generation will realize their abilities and talents, realize they can make a difference, and realize that they are in charge of their lives.  I hope that they will not delay in shedding their burgeoning fears and illusions of loneliness and alienation.  I hope they realize that they have each other to lean on and their elders as well.  I hope they realize the interconnected of us all and of all our actions and thoughts.

Wouldn’t it be nice if this became the generation of adolescents who didn’t define themselves by the illusory approval of others?  Wouldn’t it be nice if they operated from a principled center (like Stephen Covey calls it) rather than caring how their peers judged them or what pop culture suggests they be?  Wouldn’t it be nice if they learned of their true nature early on… if they recognized their blessings and their empowerment in the Now?  My hope for this generation is that they don’t wait until some crisis occurs in their life before they wake up.  My hope is that they don’t wait until they get into their middle-age years before wondering who the hell they are or until they reach old age, facing their mortality, and wishing they had it all over to do again differently.

I have hope and faith that these youngsters will become the epitome of hope and faith – that they will realize that they can, as Tammy Clancy says, “bring light into the darkest of places”.  Yes, I know it may sound sappy, but it’s what keeps me from despair.  I’ve pinned my hope on the future and have faith in these young people to continue to make a difference in the world.

Optimism Equals Self-Empowerment... and a Higher IQ?

Recently, I’ve struggled to find the time and energy to write something inspiring.  There’s been laundry, late evenings at the office, family and social commitments, and, above all, the change from daylight savings time.  Boy, I’ve been tired!  However, I don’t intend to do a bunch of complaining.  Instead, I’m optimistic that I’ll get at least one more load of clothes washed today.  My optimism means that I will equate a busy workday to proof of my success.  My optimism means that I will be grateful to have a family to love and friends who enjoy my company.  I’m also optimistic that I will soon adapt to whatever time change just happened to make the days seem even shorter! 

I started thinking about what being an optimist means when I recently read this quote by David Landes:  "No empowerment is so effective as self-empowerment. In this world, the optimists have it, not because they are always right, but because they are positive. Even when wrong, they are positive, and that is the way of achievement."  Self-empowerment, being positive even when wrong, and way of achievement – I like being aligned with those concepts. 

Then I decided to look up the word optimism in the dictionary.  The first definition of the word is, “A tendency to expect the best possible outcome or dwell on the most hopeful aspects of a situation.”  Etymology:  French optimisme, from New Latin optimum, the greatest good. (Source:  The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language)  Isn’t that outstanding?  The word optimism comes from the word optimum.  The concept of “greatest good” is also pretty darn outstanding!

Then I did a Google search and found some interesting stuff.  Have you ever heard of Optimist International?  Apparently, they’ve been around since the early 1900’s.  They’re an organization made up of clubs whose mission states:  “Providing hope and positive vision, Optimists bring out the best in kids.”  If you’re interested, the Optimist Creed is on their website, too.

Optimism, according to Wikipedia, “...exemplifies a lifeview where one looks upon the world as a positive place. Optimists generally believe that people and events are inherently good. They have a so-called ‘positive’ outlook on life, believing that things will work out in the end.”  Yep – that’s me!  Wikipedia also says:  “According to a ten-year-long research project, it is proven that possessing an optimistic world view increases one's IQ by at least ten points.”  And “Personal optimism correlates strongly with self-esteem, with psychological well-being and with personal health.”

The bottom line is this… since I already know, even without scientific studies and miscellaneous research projects, that positive attracts positive, I will certainly continue to choose the optimist’s world view and, therefore, self-empowerment.  If I gain a few IQ points along the way, that’s all the better!

Doing Your Own Thing

     Some time ago my friend, Regina, recommended a fabulous book called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.  No, it’s not a how-to on sketching, painting and sculpting, nor is it about the lives of famous artists.  In summary, The Artist’s Way is a 12-week creative recovery program – it’s often offered in the form of a workshop, but the activities are easily accomplished individually as well.  The program aims to help us re-discover of our creative side – the side that many of us cast away in favor of being responsible, boring adults.  In forsaking our creative aspects, Cameron says we ignore gifts from the Creator and that which we are all born with, whether our gifts are painting, writing, building birdhouses, designing workshops, cooking, ministering, gardening, marketing and advertising or whatever.

     What is your favorite form of creative expression?  Ever since the third grade, when I learned how to rhyme house with mouse, I have loved poetry.  I love words and having the ability to manipulate them to communicate powerful images and deep meanings.  Over the years, I learned that poetry is not just a play on words or a mere descriptive statement – poetry is a portal to exploring the meaning of life.  Poetry is also sound.  A poem can be a melody in and of itself, or it can be accompanied by a melody and become a song.  In addition to the option of weaving abstract concepts through the verses, poetry can induce a mood.  Poetry is like casting a spell and has even been used for such purposes.  Some might call this prayer, and, indeed, not only do we imitate and honor the Creator when we create anything, we slow down into a moment of being and pure experience.  When we create, we transcend our life drama and connect with the power of the present moment.  We may even produce a new, parallel moment through our imagination.  In that focused moment, we become centered, and through creating, our higher self journeys with the Creator.

     So, why did I need to do a 12-week creative recovery program if I know all that stuff about the creative process?  Well, there were several reasons, but the bottom line is that I let others’ opinions deter me – Cameron would call them my “wet blankets”.  To be more specific, I decided to write poetry for a grade in college… yikes.  Of course, this caused me to stall out, spin and crash.  I didn’t write another poem for ten years!  However, by denying my inner creative person, I unwittingly rejected my connection to the Creator.  I realize now that I am obligated to use my gift whether the world chooses to enjoy it or not.  I am grateful for becoming whole again!

     Remember:  “Doing your own thing” is a generous act.  Being gifted creates obligations, which means that you owe the world your best effort at the work you love.  You too are a natural resource.

     It’s heartbreaking and unnecessary when a hidden obstacle keeps anyone from bringing her gifts to full flower.  Every single one of us can do things that no one else can do – can love things no one else can love.  Your particular loves are your treasure.  They are nature’s gift to you.  If you keep yourself free from hidden handicaps, you not only create happiness for yourself, you also do the right thing.

     We are like violins.  We can be used for doorstops, or we can make music.

     You know what to do.

     --Barbara Sher, from I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was

Inspired by Fall

     Fall is a time of transition.  The summer months recede along with frequent salads and ice cream (or gelato, if you’ve joined that craze!), and we stop thinking so much about swimming pools and sunscreen.  The trees shed their leaves, the breezes get chilly and the sun stays with us for shorter visits each day. 

     Most people think of the Spring as the time of new beginnings, but, for me, Fall signals new beginnings.  I realize that it might just be a personal thing for me… after all I was born in December.  Talk about a new beginning!  Hey, about this time of the year, I would have been snug in my mom’s womb as she would be starting her third trimester.  I was probably instinctually getting ready for the big event.  Maybe there’s a deep cellular synapse that fires up in me about this time every year for that reason.  Maybe my mind and body has some sort of metaphysical memory of the changing season.  I don’t know.  What I do know is that I love this time of the year better than any other season.

     I come from a Christian background – specifically, I had a loose Catholic upbringing.  The upcoming string of holidays has always held special meaning for me – not only on a spiritual level, but also on a kid-anticipating-excitement level.  I still get enthused about Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  As a hedonistic adult (yes I admit it!), this time of the year means preparing, serving and consuming high-caloric, down-home comfort food.  It means oven-roasted meats and hot soup.  It means sipping fine cognac, wearing soft sweaters, and snuggling with loved ones under blankets.  It means the smell of hot chocolate and baked yummies.  One might say that the sacred feminine side of me – that my Hestia, goddess of hearth and home – becomes more prevalent in the Fall. 

     The cool air energizes me.  I’ve always empathized with the farm horse who kicks and bucks in the pasture out of the pure pleasure she feels being in the cooler weather after a hot summer.  It’s just refreshing.

     More than anything else, Fall inspires me to be an adventurer.  For me, Fall is a time to assess the progress I’ve made, re-strategize where I want to be and plan new adventures for next year… or at least start anticipating them.  It’s time to shed the baggage I’ve gathered throughout the year and move into the next lighter and more hopeful.  It’s time to plan.  It’s time to dream.

The Ultimate "Can-Do" Story

When I learned about this inspirational story, I debated publishing it here. Not because there’s any question about the inspirational factor… actually, it’s one of the most touching, moving stories I’ve ever heard. I hesitated because surely by now everyone has already read about it, seen the pictures, and viewed the video on youtube.com. But, what the heck, maybe you haven’t, and for that reason, I’ve decided to go with it.

My disclaimer:  Believe me, my purpose in posting inspirational content is not to make folks cry – okay, maybe I’d like to stir up some goosebumps every now and again, I’ll admit that. And I know that not everyone likes those inspirational PowerPoints or those "kids say the darndest things" emails that buzz around the internet. However, this fits my goal in passing along insights about attitude and inspiration… and it demonstrates that maybe, just maybe, we have a higher purpose in life than merely breathing. So, all that being said, you might want to have a tissue at the ready. Guys, if you feel too macho to tear up in front of someone else, then read this when you're alone 'cause this story will make even grumpy old men cry!

Strongest Dad in the World

[From Sports Illustrated article published in 2005, By Rick Reilly]

I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots. But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.

Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day. Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life. This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs. "He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;" Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."

But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain."

"Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.

Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that."

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me who was handicapped," Dick says "I was sore for two weeks."

That day changed Rick's life. "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!"
And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

"No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.

Then somebody said, "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?"

How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.

Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for "the awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.

"No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century."

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago."

So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.

Team Hoyt Website

Sports Illustrated Photo Gallery - Team Hoyt

A Little Light on a Dark Day

One of the reasons I do this is because sometimes I need to be reminded about all this stuff myself. Many might view me as Ms. Positive Attitude, but I have dark days and really need boosting as well. However, all I have to do is think about my privileged life as compared to real suffering, and I can’t justify a long stay at the pity party.

So here I am having a real wah-wah of a moment, feeling frustrated about my daily work. You know, another deal not going so smoothly. Then, this quote comes to me from a trainer in my field who regularly sends out a kind of lesson for the week. As you can see, this particular training email has a philosophical bent to it because he closes with…

"The way to get everything you want in life is by getting everyone else everything they want in life" --Zig Ziglar

There it is again. It’s the old you’ve-got-to-give-to-get concept. Ask and ye shall receive. So, what is my problem? Why am I not getting what I want when I’m giving and giving? Am I not asking specifically enough? Maybe I really have what I want but for some reason it’s not good enough, or maybe I’m just so busy asking for more that I’m not looking at what I’ve gotten already. Ha! Maybe what I’m asking for isn’t what I’m meant to have.  Maybe it's all about timing... and I'm just too damned impatient. By the way, is there even really some sort of law of physics – maybe a law of exchanges or a fairness doctrine – that says that I’m supposed to be getting anything back? Maybe so, maybe not. One thing’s for sure, whereas you don’t necessarily get what you ask for, one way or another you definitely get what you need. Yep, I know. Sounds a lot like that Rolling Stones song.

Speaking of wisdom in pop songs, I heard a great tune today, and it really cheered me up. Never heard of Natasha Bedingfield before, but I love her song, "Unwritten". If you can stand the barely 30-second ad with some crude humor at the start, you should check out this link for the music video( Unwritten Music Video ). The lyrics are below. She really says it all.

Here’s hoping you’ll find a little light on a dark day too!

Unwritten

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I’m just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
But the rest is still unwritten

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten